Welcome to
blogsonbears.blogspot.com, your ultimate source for bear news, culture and information. Here at Bear Blog, we consider it our sacred duty to educate the world on bears, to serve the bear community with the honest facts. You got it; this is nonpartisan bear reporting, for every bear, regardless of color or size, deserves journalistic excellence. We have an endless respect for the awesome power possessed by bears, and was with that in mind that we created this blog.
Bears are not found in Africa or Antartica, so those places are really of no interest to us.
Feel free to email us pictures, articles, or links pertaining to bears. Blogs on bears is focused on creating a bear-centric community. Corny bear jokes appreciated but not entirely necessary.
First, here's a taste of
Bears in the Media:
7/24/2009 - Bears Foil Man Yet Again:
There is a company called BearVault™ which manufactures a supposedly "bear-proof" container for campers. But an aging Black Bear in the Adirondacks has done away with BearVault's claim to impervious canisters; he opened it. This is a product which allegedly stood up to 1,000 pound Grizzlies, and yet one very smart bear has learned how to turn the lid. Next thing you know bears nationwide will be raiding the medicine bottles, without so much as an opposable thumb. Think about it; bears are so hardcore they don't even
need thumbs (except for the Panda Bear, which is not hardcore). This happening raises some important questions, such as "why are people even trying to camp in Bear territory, hereby knows as 'Bearittory?" Choice quote from the article: "...if one genius bear can do it, sooner or later there might be two genius bears." For more information on BearVault™ go
here, or pick up the full article
here.
Let's get it on with an overview of types of bears. There's a lot of dispute over how many different species of bears there actually are, and here at Bear Blog we are determined to get to the bottom of it.
Panda Bear: Evolution has not been kind to the native Chinese Panda Bear; it can't manage a sustainable diet or sex life. One can only hope we will start seeing similar trends with the Republican Party. The Panda is a mostly herbivorous bear, a trait frequently mocked in recreation by Grizzly Bears, who are douchebags, but who's going to tell them that? The Panda competes with the Sloth Bear for being the laziest of the bears, and probably loses for not trying hard enough. Look at it! Loungin'. They do not hibernate however, but like most bears it can climb trees. The Panda has a semi-functional "thumb", which has been subject to much evolutionary debate, but the Panda really just uses it to eat bamboo.
Red Panda: NOT A FUCKING BEAR
Spectacled Bear: This bear looks elderly. Indigenous of South America, the Spectacled Bear is not known to be display specifically aggressive behavior, because you don't pick fights when you're the kid with glasses.
Syrian Brown Bear: One of the many sub-species of the Brown Bear. Looks pretty jovial. Mostly found in Asia.
Grizzly Bear: Need we say more?
Kodiak Bear: Tying with the Polar Bear for the title of largest bear, the male Kodiak can weigh up to 1,500 lbs.
Himalayan Brown Bear: "Asian Yeti."
Tibetan Blue Bear: Clearly not Blue.
Eurasian Brown Bear: Possibly a 5,000,000 year old species.
Gobi Bear: Rare bear, native to the Gobi Desert. There may be as few as 30 in existence.
American Black Bear: Inner city bears of promise, but without the necessary means for the necessary means for a path to higher education. The Black Bear wins on the evolutionary adaptability scale, although if you're comparing yourself to Pandas even Anna Nicole Smith wins.
Polar Bear: If we're talking about animals that are to be revered for their intensity, I guess Walruses would be pretty high on the list. But they're no match for the Polar Bear, as big as a Kodiak but more weathered. Plus more swimming.
Asiatic Black Bear:
No they are not better at math! We already cleared this up with the American Black Bear, bears do not have racial stereotypes. Except for Pandas and their stupidity, but that's more species related anyways. This is a medium bear, but don't let that fool you; this bear will kill you.
Sloth Bear: Seriously, the best combination since... Well, you know where I'm going with this. Certainly a way better combination than a Panda Bear and a healthy sex life. They are obviously going extinct for a reason. Anyways, the Sloth Bear is the main perpetuation for the "honey bear" stereotype (here we go), and also very nocturnal.
THIS BEAR CAN BEAT UP A POLAR BEAR!!!
Sun Bear: If you wanted a bear as a pet, this would be the way to go. I'm not kidding.
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